Why Can't Secret Santa Just Be Openly Gay?
by writetherest
Summary: "I loved all of them. But you knew that I would, didn't you? I don't know how, but you knew that I wanted all of these things as a little girl. How did you know? I mean, I never told anyone about some of these things. Well, except for…" Emma's eyes go wide as the thought strikes her again, the same one she'd had days before. "Oh god! Tell me you aren't Santa Claus."


**Author's Note: **This was written for the Swan Queen Christmas Fic Exchange/Contest over at beatthe0dds on Tumblr. So if you like it and have a tumblr, I'd really appreciate you taking the time to give it a like over there as well. The post can be found at: beatthe0dds dot com /post/69996575131/sq-xmas-fic-exchange-entry-2013-why-cant-secret.

Title taken from a joke Cecily Strong made on Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, y'all! :-) Enjoy!

* * *

**Sunday, December 15, 2013**

He's sitting on Emma's desk when she comes into the station that morning, bleary eyed and cursing the fact that she needs to work on a Sunday morning. Weekends are supposed to be time off, but with everything that's happened since getting back from Neverland, she's got plenty of paperwork to catch up on. She doesn't notice him at first, too busy juggling her hot chocolate and bear claw while trying to get her coat off, but he catches her eye as she moves to sit down.

"Well hello there." She says, a smile slowly stretching across her face as she takes in the sight of him, all dressed up in a red coat and Santa hat. "Where did you come from?"

A card sits in his lap, her name written across it in calligraphy. She plucks it from his lap and turns it over, expecting to see some kind of note. But the card – pure white, but definitely high quality cardstock – is blank.

She hums to herself as she picks him up. She turns him over, looking for any clues, but sees none. "Guess you're not telling, huh, Teddy?" With another grin, she puts him back down on the corner of her desk.

It's nice to have a friend, even in the form of a stuffed bear, she thinks as she starts in on her paperwork.

And somewhere, in the back of her mind, a memory tickles, but doesn't quite surface.

_It'd be nice to have a friend._

* * *

The clacking of Regina's heels snaps her to attention a few hours later. The hot chocolate and bear claw are long gone, but the teddy bear still sits on the corner of her desk.

"My, what Christmas spirit you have, Sheriff Swan." Regina drawls, her eyes locked onto the teddy bear. "And here I thought you were being a Scrooge and not putting out decorations this year."

Emma rolls her eyes but bites back the comment she wants to make about Regina no longer being mayor and so it not being any of her concern whether she decorates the office or not. They've been civil – almost friendly, although Emma would never say that to Regina – since the ordeal in Neverland and she doesn't want to rock the boat just yet. "It's not like I've been busy lately or anything. And he isn't a decoration. He was a gift."

"Who from? The 300 year old thief or the love sick pirate?"

Emma sighs and then mumbles, "I don't know."

"You don't know? Oh well, isn't that wonderful? The town sheriff accepting gifts from strangers."

"It's Christmas, Regina." Emma snaps. "And while you may not understand the concept, sometimes people do nice things for others just because they want to, without needing any kind of credit or reward."

"How touching. Although I'm quite sure you got the sentiment from a Hallmark card." Regina waves her hand then, as though dismissing the whole conversation. "At any rate, I'm here to discuss Henry, not worry about your little Secret Santa."

"Henry?" Emma sits up at that. "What's wrong?"

Regina softens just a bit at the reaction. "Nothing is wrong. I just have some things I need to attend to this evening and I was hoping that you would be able to pick him up for dinner and keep him for the night."

"Of course I can." Emma jumps at the chance. They've managed to work out a schedule between them, and things are going smoothly so she can't complain, but she misses Henry when he's not with her. It definitely gives her insight into how Regina must've felt for so long.

"Good. Then it's settled. I will get him back after school tomorrow and we'll trade off again on Wednesday as planned."

"Sounds like a plan." Emma nods and then, because she just can't resist, tosses out, "Have fun making your quick Santy Claus hat and coat."

"Excuse me?" Regina turns, looking half confused and half offended.

"Your plans tonight – The Grinch?" Emma begins, shrugging. "It was a joke."

"Yes, I'm sure. Five o'clock, Miss Swan. Don't be late."

* * *

"Oh, Emma, isn't that adorable?" Snow chirps as soon as Henry and Emma come through the door to the loft, Emma holding the teddy bear. "Wherever did you get it?"

"Uh, actually, I was hoping you could tell me." Emma says. "I already asked Henry and he said he didn't leave it for me, so I figured one of you…" She looks from Snow to David and back again, but both of them look far too clueless for it to be an act.

"It wasn't either of us." David tells her what she's already deduced.

"Huh." Emma says, looking back at the bear.

"You mean there wasn't a card or anything?" Snow asks, moving over to take the bear from Emma. She has a sudden urge to grab him back and clutch him to her chest, but she refrains. This isn't like the past. Her new friend isn't going to be stolen away from her.

"There was, but it just had my name on it. Nothing else." Emma says, unable to stop herself from reaching out for the bear. Snow hands it back with a smile.

"A card, but no signature. Emma! I think you've got yourself a Secret Santa." She's practically squealing at the thought.

Emma blinks. Hadn't Regina said something similar at the station earlier? "We don't know. It could be a one time thing, just to brighten my day."

"It could." Snow nods, but it's obvious she doesn't believe that. She's like a dog with a bone when she gets an idea. "I guess we'll have to wait until tomorrow to see!"

"I guess." Emma shrugs, moving upstairs to change before dinner. She props the bear up between her pillows and can't help smiling at the sight of him.

"Well, whoever you're from, I'm pretty happy to have you." She whispers before heading to grab a quick shower before Henry uses up all the hot water.

* * *

**Monday, December 16, 2013**

It's pretty much impossible to miss the gift this time, as it takes up nearly the entire length of her desk. It's wrapped today, a long tube shape, and she can't help but wonder what on earth it could be.

There is a tag with her name written in the same calligraphy as yesterday but no other indicators of who it might be from. Upon closer inspection though, the wrapping paper is covered with characters from Star Wars and her eyes widen.

"No." She shakes her head, even as her nails begin to dig into the paper, looking for purchase. "No way."

She pulls off the wrapping, enjoying the ripping sound of the paper, only to be faced with a cardboard tube. Quickly tugging off the top cap, she lets out a squeal of excitement that rivals Snow's upon learning of the Secret Santa. "Oh my god!"

The tube drops to the ground as she pulls out the lightsaber from within, looking mesmerized. She can tell from the handle alone that it's meant to be Luke's lightsaber from Return of the Jedi and she can't stop her giddy giggle as she pushes the power button up and the green slides up the blade.

She tentatively moves the lightsaber through the air, laughing again as she hears the famous humming sound come with each swipe of it through the air. "This is too cool!"

"A strange sword for a Savior."

She startles at the voice and whips around, the blade hitting the doorframe and making a clashing sound that makes her grin, even under Regina's watchful gaze.

"That's because it's not for a Savior." She retorts, moving the blade back and forth. "It's for a Jedi."

Regina looks nonplussed by the whole thing. She drops a stack of file folders on Emma's desk – and that totally isn't fair because she isn't the mayor anymore, damn it – and rolls her eyes. "Yes, well, do try to finish these reports before you head off for Tatooine, won't you?"

Emma's jaw drops at the Star Wars reference coming from Regina. "You know Star Wars?"

"I'm full of surprises." Regina replies before turning and leaving.

"Wait!" Emma calls after her, but Regina doesn't stop walking. Emma blinks, looking between the lightsaber and the door Regina just walked through. "Damn."

She shakes her head and then goes back to wielding the lightsaber, pretending to duel for a while until she finally powers the lightsaber down – it makes a noise then too which is so awesome – and begins looking at the files Regina brought over.

As she works, her eyes keep drifting to the lightsaber though and another memory niggles but never quite surfaces.

_I wish I were a Jedi knight!_

* * *

"You're sure they're not from you guys?" Emma asks as she and Snow sit on the couch, watching David play with the lightsaber which he'd squealed excitedly at too. It's official. They're a family of squealers. "I mean, like, this isn't some cute family thing where you give me gifts and pretend they're not from you but they really are?"

"They're not from us." Snow assures. "I don't think David would've given that light sword up."

"Lightsaber." Emma corrects, but she sees Snow's point. It's going to be a struggle to get her lightsaber back from David.

"Well, then, who could they be from?" She sighs, going through the list of suspects again in her head. Her parents have been crossed off the list, as has Henry because she'd checked out how much a Force FX Lightsaber costs and there's no way the kid has that much dough lying around, nor would Regina allow him to spend it on her if he did.

"Someone who knows what you like, obviously." Snow says and there's a hinting quality in her voice that lets Emma know exactly who she thinks they're from.

Truthfully, he's at the top of her list right now, too, although she's not really that comfortable with it.

"Yeah. I guess."

"You should ask him. And thank him." Snow bumps their shoulders together with a grin that's trying to be best friend-y but comes off far too mom-like for Emma's taste right now.

"I will. Tomorrow. For now though," she gets up from the couch and moves to where David is, "hand over the lightsaber."

"But Emma, I am your father!" David does a rather sad Darth Vader impression.

"You know Luke beats Vader in the battle, right?" She smirks, taking the lightsaber from him.

David pouts as she goes upstairs.

* * *

**Tuesday, December 17, 2013**

Neal is leaning against her desk – on which another present, this time wrapped in simple red paper with a beautiful green ribbon wrapped around it and tied in a perfect bow on top, is sitting – when she comes into the office.

She feels her heart sink just a little at this seeming proof that he is, in fact, her Secret Santa, although she can't understand why she feels that way. She thought she made it clear that whatever they had was in the past, but it still doesn't explain the almost disappointment she feels at thinking he's the one that's been giving her these gifts.

"Hey." He offers her an easy smile. "Looks like someone beat me here."

Her brow furrows at the greeting. "What?"

"The present. It was here when I got here a couple minutes ago."

"It was?" Her eyebrows raise in surprise. "So it's not – you haven't been – you're not my – they're not from you?" She finally manages to blurt.

"What aren't from me?" He asks and he's just as clueless as her parents. Scratch Neal off the list of suspects.

She shakes her head, a smile tugging on her lips. "Oh, just, I got a couple presents, and I thought maybe they were from you."

"Uh, no." Neal shoves his hands in his pockets, looking suddenly downcast, as though he'd somehow missed the bus on the presents thing. She fears that he'll start showing up with gifts each day and while the Secret Santa presents are kind of thrilling – she's dying to know what's in the box today – she really doesn't need him showering her with things too. "Not from me."

"Okay."

"You don't know who they are from?" He asks, lifting up the box and looking it over before giving it a good shake.

She snatches it out of his hands with almost lightning speed, glaring as she hears the sound of things shifting inside. If he broke her present, she'll break his face.

"No. They only ever have my name on the tag. No from is ever listed." She admits, hugging the box to her chest.

"That's – isn't that kind of weird, Em?"

"It's called Secret Santa, Neal. It's a thing people do. It's not weird. It's nice."

"Okay. Okay. Sorry." He holds his hands up in surrender. "Didn't mean to upset you."

"It's fine." She huffs, but she's ready for him to leave so that she can open her present. "So did you want something or…"

"Oh. Uh. Yeah." He rocks back on the desk before pushing off and standing up straight. "I was just wondering what you and Henry were doing, you know, for Christmas? I thought maybe we could spend it as a –"

"Don't." She interrupts him before he can mutter the 'f' word. "Neal, I already told you –"

"I'm his father!" He protests.

"And Regina is his mother! He wants to spend Christmas with her, like he always has. I'm not going to take that away from him, Neal."

"Well, I mean, we could still do Christmas Eve or –"

"Neal," she sighs, carefully setting the box down and then turning to face him, "how many times do I have to tell you, there is no 'we'. Not anymore. Not ever again. Regina and I are okay with you being in Henry's life because he wants to know you but that's it."

"You and Regina? When did you start making decisions with her, huh?"

"Since she's his other parent and –"

"_I'm_ his other parent!"

"No, you're his sperm donor!" She shouts, suddenly snapping. She runs her hands over her face, letting out a harsh sigh. She so didn't want this to happen today.

"I don't want to have this fight with you, Neal. Especially not this close to the holidays." She looks up at him, her eyes pleading with him to just listen to her. "Henry wants to be with Regina for Christmas. I'm sure he'll want to see you and we won't stop him from that. But you've gotta stop pushing it. Let him come to you when he's ready. That was our deal."

"Fine." Neal mumbles, obviously defeated. "Fine."

He turns to leave and she knows she should stop him – should apologize or something – but she can't bring herself to do it. Instead, she waits a few minutes after he's gone and then picks up the present, a smile sliding back onto her face automatically.

She pulls the bow open and then yanks off the wrapping paper, laughing at what is revealed to her.

"Not bad, Santa." She smirks, turning the box over. "Not bad at all."

She picks up her phone and dials. "Hey David? Yeah, you think you could come by the station for a bit? I've got something I need your help with. Thanks!"

* * *

"Victory!" Emma exclaims, jumping up from her chair and doing a little dance at the sight of David's blue robot head popped up from the rest of its body.

"Best two out of three." He demands, pushing the head back down.

"That would work," Emma grins, taking hold of the handles for her robot, "if I hadn't already beat you three times."

He laughs. "Okay, fine. Best four out of seven."

"You're on, old man."

"Old man?" He laughs. "I'm the same age as you, sweetheart."

And any other time, the reminder would be weird and awkward, but today she's sitting across from her dad, playing Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots and actually winning, so she's gonna ride the high as long as she can.

"Oh yeah? Then start playing like it!"

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that." He says, pushing down his triggers in earnest as Emma moves her handles to dodge each attack.

"I'm shaking in my boots." She smirks, offering up a quick right jab with her own robot. The punch lands, but not at the right angle for any head popping.

David strikes back, but Emma dodges and is moving in for the kill shot when another voice rings out.

"I guess it is true. Royals really are just like the rest of us. They even play games the peasants do."

David uses Emma's distraction to punch her robot, causing the head to pop up.

"Does that mean you'll be playing this round, Regina?" He asks after smirking triumphantly at Emma. "After all, you're a queen."

Emma smiles widely, suddenly not caring that David cheated to win because he just referred to Regina without using the word evil and that feels like its own victory.

Regina's nose wrinkles. "I was referring only to the lesser royals."

"C'mon, Regina. Afraid we'll beat you?" He goads, feeling pretty proud after his win.

"History would say I don't need to worry about that." Regina snarks, but it's still pretty civil.

Emma decides to intervene before it turns sour. "What can we do for you, Regina?"

"Your jobs. But that's apparently asking too much. Other than that, I wanted to tell you that I'll be dropping Henry off before school tomorrow morning. I have a meeting I need to attend to, so I need you to get him to school."

Emma's brow furrows at the mention of a meeting but she nods. "Yeah, sure."

"Good. Then I will leave you to… this."

"This is awesome. You're missing out!" Emma calls to her back. "You wish you had something this cool."

Regina doesn't respond but Emma hears her own voice in her head for just a second.

_I wish I had a cool game like Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots._

* * *

**Wednesday, December 18, 2013**

"Emma! There's a present for you!" Henry calls out as he bursts into the loft holding the package. Today it's wrapped in blue paper with little white snowflakes all over it.

Emma's in the middle of brushing her teeth when his call reaches her ears and she rushes out of the bathroom to the top of the steps, foaming mouth and all. "Where daya det dat?"

"It was sitting outside the door when I came up." Henry tells her, easily translating toothpaste Emma speak.

"Didchu –"

"No, I didn't see anybody. Go spit, please. And get dressed. Then you can have your present." He scolds her gently.

Emma rushes to do just that.

* * *

"You're sure you didn't see anybody coming downstairs or anything?" Emma interrogates Henry as she checks the package over, but she is still left with only her name in calligraphy on the card.

"No. There was no one. It must've been there for a while. Maybe someone dropped it off last night?"

Emma ponders that for a while. It's possible. But it's also something to think about another time. For now, she's got a present to open.

"Whoa!" Henry exclaims as he watches her make quick work of the wrapping paper. He leans over to peek inside the box. His nose wrinkles. "Shoes? They got you shoes?"

Emma's eyes are wide as she takes in the pair of shoes that are nestled into the box. "These aren't just any shoes, Henry. These are Adidas Campus sneakers."

She takes them out of the box and looks them over, a look of awe on her face. They're originals from the '80s and they're just her size.

"They're sneakers." Henry repeats. "What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal?" Emma looks at him like he's grown a second head for asking that question. "These sneakers are the big deal! They're famous. The Beastie Boys wore them. Everybody wore them. Man, when I was growing up I wanted a pair of these so badly. Heck I even –" She stops short, something finally clicking.

"You even what?" Henry asks, still not understanding the importance of the shoes.

"Wrote a letter to Santa Claus." Emma murmurs, the memories of those years when she'd still believed and had written her yearly letters to Santa, hoping and praying that at least one of her wishes would come true, suddenly flooding her mind. "Oh my god."

"What? Emma, what?"

"What's wrong?" Snow's voice joins in with Henry's as she comes down the stairs, taking in the sight of Emma holding the sneakers and looking like she'd just been smacked with a two by four with Henry looking on in concern.

Emma shakes her head, forcing her attention back to Snow and Henry. "No. Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Just…" She holds up the shoes. "Secret Santa."

"Your gift today was shoes?" Snow sounds disappointed and Emma can't help but think that if the shoes had been glass slippers, she'd be jumping for joy.

"They're special. Or something." Henry tells her. "They're old anyway. From when she was a kid."

"Hey, they're not old!" Emma protests. "They're classic."

"Whatever." Henry shrugs and Emma can't help but laugh at that. "Are we gonna go? I don't want to be late."

"Sure, Kid." Emma nods. "Just let me change my shoes."

"You're wearing them?" Snow asks.

"Of course!" Emma grins.

_My feet get really cold in the winter since most of my shoes are worn out. I wish I could have a brand new pair, like the other kids at school._

* * *

Emma decides to walk Henry to school, which he grumbles about a bit because it's winter in Maine and it is pretty darn cold, but there's no snow yet and Henry's got enough layers for her not to be concerned. Besides, he'll be out a recess running around like a monkey, so why shouldn't he walk to school too? She'll make it up to him with a warm car and a hot chocolate at Granny's after school.

But this morning she needs some thinking time, to try and stop the whirling in her brain. It's been spinning like a top ever since she realized that all of the gifts she'd received from her Secret Santa so far had been things she had wished for as a child but never gotten – not that she'd ever really gotten any Christmas presents of note, mostly socks and hand me down clothes and leftovers that other kids didn't want.

Of course it could all be a coincidence. The bear was cute and Christmassy and her love of Star Wars wasn't a secret or anything. Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots was still a pretty popular game and lots of people knew that she liked to goof around and play games. But the sneakers…

Why would someone have given her the sneakers?

She's so engrossed in her thoughts that she's not really watching where she's going and the next thing she knows, she's slamming into a solid body.

"Oh shit, sorry, I –" She looks up and of course the person she's slammed into is Regina. Of course it is.

"Miss Swan." Regina sounds exasperated, but there's a hint of something like a smile playing on her face, especially in her eyes. Or maybe Emma's imagining it.

"Sorry." Emma offers again with a shrug. "I was, uh, -"

"Not paying attention, clearly." Regina rolls her eyes.

"Yeah." She admits, because it isn't worth it to try and talk her way out of this one.

"You should work on that, Sheriff." Regina tells her and then gives her a quick once over, her eyes stopping when they reach Emma's shoes. "And also try working on updating your shoes. You look like a teenage delinquent. Although I suppose that's not far off from the truth, is it?"

Emma just grins. "Sorry Regina, but that's not gonna work today. These sneakers are awesome and you can't make me feel bad about them. Now, have a nice day!"

And she side steps Regina, heading for the station. She doesn't even realize until she's settled at her desk that her brain has quieted.

* * *

**Thursday, December 19, 2013**

There's no package waiting by the front door this morning. Emma knows because she checked first thing. And also because she tried her best to stay up all night and catch her Secret Santa in the act. But no one ever came, so either her mysterious benefactor has given up or they've gone back to leaving their gifts at the station.

Emma's betting on – and hoping for – the latter, so she rushes around getting ready, continually calling for Henry to hurry up. She's gotta drop him off at school, do her typical Granny's run, and then high tail it to the station.

"Did another one come?" Henry asks when he bounds down the stairs, some of his hair still sticking up at odd angles, but otherwise ready to go.

"What did you get this morning?" David asks, coming out of kitchen looking half asleep while hugging a mug of coffee. Snow is still upstairs and Emma can't help but be a bit grateful for that. Henry and David are amused and rather excited about the gifts. Snow is weary and suspicious now that Emma's admitted it's definitely not Neal giving them.

"Nothing yet." She admits. "I'm thinking maybe they went back to the station."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Henry tugs on her hand and Emma laughs.

"Whoa, kid, slow down. You're getting dropped off at school first."

"But Emmaaaaa."

"I'll show you what I got after school. And I'll see you at the station later. Bye!" She calls to David as Henry drags her out the door.

"Have fun!" David yells after her.

* * *

Emma hasn't even opened her mouth to order – she's only just sat down at the counter – when Ruby comes over, a mischievous glint in her eyes and a package in her hands. It's wrapped in silver wrapping paper today, with a blue bow.

"So," Ruby starts, leaning over the counter toward Emma, "want to explain why this present bearing your name was outside my door this morning?"

"Your door?" Emma asks, eyes widening.

"Yep. Nearly fell right over it. Then I got really excited that someone had left a gift for me. I had already pulled open a corner before I saw the card." Ruby admits, turning the box so that Emma can see the place where she tried to tape the wrapping paper back down. "So seriously, Ems, what gives?"

Emma takes the box from her, pulling it close. She can't be mad at Ruby, not really, but damn it, it's her present. She should be the one to open it. "I've been getting gifts from a Secret Santa," she spills.

"What?" Ruby exclaims. "Emma! Why didn't you tell me?"

Emma shrugs. "It's not a big deal, really."

"The way you're holding that box says otherwise." Ruby smirks. "So, who do you think they're from?"

"I… don't know. I thought maybe Neal at first, but they're definitely not from him."

"Okay. So, who else?"

"I honestly don't know." Emma sighs, then perks up. "Wait, Ruby, can't you do your wolf tracking thing? Get the scent of who dropped it off or something?"

If it were anyone else, Ruby figures she'd be offended, but it isn't anyone else, it's Emma, so she just laughs. "Wolf tracking thing?"

"I didn't know what to call it!" Emma defends. "But seriously, Rubes, can you?" She's pretty sure she looks rather pathetic, pleading with Ruby right now, but she wants some answers.

"I can try. Give it here."

Emma's reluctant to give the box up, but she eventually hands it over to Ruby. The wolf lifts it to her nose and gives it a quick sniff, her face scrunching in concentration. "Smells kinda stale, like rum and salt water."

Emma's stomach sinks lower. "Hook?"

"He is staying at the B&B. So he would've had a chance to leave it." Ruby nods, giving the package another sniff. "But…"

"But?" Emma surges forward, clinging to any other kind of hope. She can deal with Hook if it's him, but she really doesn't want to. Especially because she's loving the gifts and doesn't want to have to give them back or give them up.

"But it smells like someone else too. I don't really know the scent very well, but I'd say it's a female. And it doesn't smell human. Not exactly anyway. So I'd guess… fairy, maybe."

"Tinkerbell." Emma says to herself. It makes sense, because Tink is also staying at Granny's. But why would both of their scents be on her package.

"Yeah. She's been staying at the B&B too. And I've seen her leaving Hook's room so…" Ruby lets the bit of gossip out with a smirk, "that's probably why their scents are mixed."

"But that doesn't make sense." Emma frowns. "If they're sleeping with each other, why would one of them be giving me gifts?"

"Maybe they're just biding their time?" Ruby suggests.

Emma makes a face of disgust. "Thanks, Rubes."

"Any time." Ruby grins, handing the package back to Emma. "So?"

"So?"

"Open it!"

"Oh. Uh. Okay." Emma looks rather embarrassed as she tears the paper off, beginning with a different corner than the one Ruby had started with. She's left with a decorative gift box. She pulls the lid off and moves the tissue paper aside to reveal –

"Books?" Ruby frowns. "That's your gift? Have they all been this lame?"

Emma shifts the books around, taking in the titles and doing her best not to burst out laughing or crying. Either way Ruby would think she was crazy. "They're not lame, Rubes." She finally manages a neutral expression.

Ruby shrugs. "If you say so." She's obviously bored now. "I'll get your usual ready to go for you."

"Actually, I think I'll take it in a booth." Emma says, checking her watch. She's still got some time before she actually needs to be at the station now that she knows there's not a gift waiting there. And David will be around if something actually happens.

Quickly, she gathers the box and moves to the booth that's furthest back in the diner. Once settled with her hot chocolate and bear claw in front of her, she pulls the books out, running her fingers over the covers, suddenly transported back to her childhood, when she'd wished for books of her own, books that were whole and complete. And now, suddenly, almost miraculously, here they are. Ones that she'd felt drawn to and started reading, only to be disappointed by ripped out pages and scribbled out words. But these are beautiful and new, with that crisp new book smell and Emma has to stop herself from pushing her nose into them.

Instead, she chooses one and opens it, instantly becoming mesmerized.

_I want books. Books that are my own, that I can read over and over again. I want to know how Matilda ends._

* * *

It's a few hours later before Emma becomes aware of anything other than the world Roald Dahl has spun for Matilda.

"So this is why there's a riot going unchecked on Main Street." Regina huffs. "Because you're too busy reading…" She looks at the cover of the book and scoffs. "A novel for children. Really, Miss Swan, I know that you yourself are often childish, but I would hope that your reading level has exceeded –"

It's only when Emma looks up from the book that Regina can see the tears tracking their way down her cheeks. "Don't." She whispers thickly.

Regina blinks in response, surprise and what could be mistaken for concern if it was anyone else looking at her – but Emma's well aware that Regina doesn't show concern for anyone but Henry – written on her face.

"Whatever mocking, spiteful thing you want to say right now, just don't. Just let me have this. Let me finally, finally have this. Please."

Regina looks from the untouched bear claw and now cold chocolate to Emma's tear streaked face and nods once. "Very well." She leans over to the stack and pulls one from towards the bottom, moving it to the top.

"This was always Henry's favorite." Regina taps the cover of James and the Giant Peach and offers her a small but genuine smile before leaving Emma to her book.

* * *

**Friday, December 20,****2013**

"Emma! Emma!" She jerks awake at the sound of Henry's voice, as well as the way he's shaking her shoulder.

"Huh?" She blinks, trying to get the sleep out of her eyes. She's disoriented for a minute until she realizes that she's on the couch. She must've fallen asleep waiting for her Secret Santa the night before.

"It came!" Henry grins, holding up a package that's smaller than the have been. It's wrapped in gold paper today.

"Here?" She asks, sitting up quickly.

"It was outside the front door when I checked this morning."

"Damn." She hisses, cursing the missed opportunity.

"Open it!" Henry insists and Emma doesn't even bother to look for any clues before she shreds the wrapping.

"No way!" Henry is the one exclaiming this time, but Emma's eyes are lit up like the kid on Christmas morning she would've been if she'd gotten this gift the year she asked for it.

"This is the best gift yet." Emma declares, although in her heart she knows that she can't really pick a favorite. They all mean the world to her.

"Lemme try it out!" Henry tries to grab the box from her but Emma holds on tight.

"No way, Kid. You've got your own portable gaming systems."

"Yeah, but, Emma, that's an original Game Boy!"

Emma's smile could light up the room. "I know."

_I know I shouldn't wish for something so expensive, but other kids do all the time and I've been really good this year, I swear. So could you please, please bring me a Game Boy for Christmas this year?_

* * *

Hook and Tinkerbell are sitting in a booth at the diner looking rather cozy when Henry and Emma enter for their regular Friday morning breakfast. It's a little tradition they've started on the Fridays that Henry is with her and both of them enjoy the time together.

Henry grabs the booth right behind the pirate and the fairy and quickly turns around to look over into their booth.

"Henry!" Emma hisses at him but he ignores her. He's aware of Emma's suspicions that Hook may be sending her the gifts and he's getting curious too.

"How did you get the Game Boy?" He asks without preamble.

Hook and Tinkerbell both look up, confusion written on their faces. "I beg your pardon, lad?"

"The Game Boy. How did you get one that was still in the packaging and not used. They don't make them anymore. Did you use your magic, Tink?"

"They put a boy in packaging?" Tink frowns. "This land is strange indeed."

"No. Not a boy. A Game Boy." Henry presses.

Hook looks over at Emma as though asking for an explanation. It isn't an act either. He truly doesn't know what Henry is talking about.

"You two are together, right?" She asks, seemingly out of the blue.

"Yes." and "No! Well… maybe." are the answers she receives. She nods. "Thought so. But if it wasn't either of you…"

"If what wasn't either of us?"

"You handled a gift yesterday. A gift that was for me. Ruby smelled you both on it."

"Ah!" Hook nods. "The silver present."

"Is that what the gift was?" Tink asks. "This… Game Boy?"

"No, the Game Boy was today's gift. Yesterday's gift was some books." Henry tells them, his nose wrinkling at the books. No one seems to appreciate them the way Emma does, not even when one of them was one of Henry's favorites.

"Wait," Emma holds her hands up. "You're saying that you did have my gift, but you didn't know what it was?"

"That's right, love." Hook nods. "I found that package outside Miss Bell's room that morning when I was…" He smirks wickedly, "taking my leave."

"He tried to give it to me, but I saw that it said your name on it, so I took it and left it outside Miss Lucas' room. I figured she would be able to get it to you." Tink finishes explaining.

"So neither of you have any idea who it was from or where it came from?"

Both shake their heads.

"Okay. But, Tink, can't you use your fairy dust to –"

"No wings. No dust. Remember?" Tink points out and it's just a tiny bit bitchy, which Emma lets slide.

"Okay. Well. We'll leave you to your breakfast then."

Emma sighs softly as she mentally crosses off two more names from her list.

* * *

"I should shoot whoever this Secret Santa of yours is. They're making you work even less than you normally do, a feat that I thought was impossible."

Emma's Adidas clad feet are propped up on her desk and she's moving her fingers over the buttons of the Game Boy rapidly, her eyes fixated on the screen.

"Funny, but that riot you reported yesterday? Didn't actually happen. So really, my Secret Santa is saving me from dying of boredom while waiting for something to happen in this town now that Pan has been defeated." Emma replies, never taking her eyes from the Game Boy. "Although if you know who they are, I'd love to know."

"Your love life is the least of my concerns, Sheriff."

That does cause Emma to pause her game and look up. "Love life?"

"I assume these little gifts are from the thief or the pirate, are they not?"

"No, actually, they aren't."

Regina's eyebrows lift. "Then who are they from?"

"I told you, I don't know."

"So you don't actually know if they're from your bumbling suitors, then." Regina counters.

"I don't know who the gifts are from, but I know they're not from Neal or Hook, okay?"

"And you know this because?"

"Hook is sleeping with your fairy friend and they both thought I meant an actual boy when I referred to this." Emma holds the gaming device up. "So that rules them out. And the only things Neal ever gave me were a stolen keychain, a stolen watch, a stolen car, and a trip to jail. And Henry."

"Trouble in paradise?" Regina smirks.

"There is no paradise. Neal and I aren't together. Nor will we ever be. Now if you're done interrogating me, I'd like to get back to Tetris. Not to mention that I haven't even gotten to check out Donkey Kong or Super Mario Land yet."

Regina moves around behind Emma, watching as she restarts the game. "Flip it," she commands and Emma looks up at her incredulously. "No, don't put it there! Rotate it a quarter turn and fit it there." She points to an empty spot on the screen.

Emma smiles and does as she says.

* * *

**Saturday, December 21, 2013**

Emma and Henry rush downstairs to find Snow and David already in the kitchen, a large box wrapped in Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer paper sitting on the island counter.

"Was it outside the door again?" Henry asks as he climbs up to look it over.

"Yep." David confirms. "But your Secret Santa must be a very early riser, because I was up at five and it was waiting outside."

Emma frowns. "I checked before I went to bed around one and there was nothing there. How are we missing them?"

"How aren't we noticing the person walking around town looking like a zombie?" David muses.

"Maybe your Secret Santa is a zombie." Henry giggles.

"I was thinking more vampire." Emma teases back.

"Maybe they're setting an alarm, dropping the presents off, and then going back to bed. That would explain why we don't notice anyone looking more tired than usual."

"That seems like an awful lot of trouble to go to just to give you presents." Snow says, her back still to them as she works at the stove.

Emma's face freezes and then falls for just a second before she blinks it all away. But David and Henry both see it.

"Snow." David chastises.

"Oh," Snow turns to look at Emma, but she's smiling again as though nothing has been said. "I didn't mean it that way. I just meant that it seems strange that they'd go through all of this just to keep their identity a secret. If you're sure it's not Neal or Hook –"

"It's not." Emma insists again, her voice hardening.

"Then I just can't imagine who it would be. And that concerns me."

"Right." Emma lets out a rather shaky breath. "Because Neal and Hook are the only two people in town who could possibly be interested in me."

"I didn't say that." Snow says but David just shakes his head at her and she closes her mouth, turning back to the stove.

"I think it's cool." Henry affirms for her, giving her arm a quick squeeze. "It's fun trying to figure out who it might be. And it's obvious you really like the gifts so… I'm happy you're happy."

"Me too." David smiles. "And I'm dying of curiosity, so open this already, would you?"

Emma does as she's told, pulling off the wrapping paper to reveal a large pink box that can only hold one thing.

"Easy Bake Oven and Snack Center." Henry reads. "Let me guess, it was popular when you were a kid?"

"Henry, these have been popular since the '60s." Emma says, running her hands over the box.

"But you wanted one when you were a kid, right?" Henry asks, starting to catch on to the pattern.

"Yeah." Emma nods. "I did."

"You did?" Snow sounds shocked.

"Why is that surprising?" Emma asks.

"Well, Emma, we all know your track record in the kitchen. I just can't imagine you being a little girl and wanting to bake, that's all."

Emma's throat tightens and she forces herself to swallow back the words that she feels bubbling up, like how if Snow had just kept her she wouldn't have had to imagine her as a child at all but how she didn't, so she has no idea what Emma was like as a little girl. She has no idea what Emma dreamed of and wished for and she doesn't have a clue about any of the motivations behind her dreams and wishes.

"Can we try it out?" Henry breaks the tense silence, giving Emma a way out of the awkward and almost hurtful situation.

"Sure." Emma manages a smile, ignoring Snow's protest of "you'll ruin your appetite for breakfast".

_I'd like an Easy Bake Oven this year so that I can make my own food. That way, I'll be able to eat and I won't have to make anyone mad at me for being hungry all the time._

* * *

Emma's just about to pull the tiny metal cake pan from the Easy Bake Oven when there's a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" Henry says as he hops up from his place on the couch. "Don't take it out without me."

Emma leans on the coffee table where they've set up and laughs. "Well hurry up."

"Mom!" Henry exclaims when he opens the door. "What are you doing here?"

"They're calling for snow." Regina says, as though that explains anything. Then she holds up a bag. "I brought your boots and your snow clothes, just in case."

"Oh. Thanks!" Henry gives her a quick hug before taking the bag from her.

"Of course, sweetheart." Regina looks past him and into the living room. "And what are you and Emma getting into today?"

"We're making chocolate cake in her Easy Bake Oven." Henry grins. "It's just about done. C'mon."

He pulls her into the living room where Emma sits on the floor. "Is it ready?"

"I think so." Emma uses the handle tool to reach into the cooling chamber and pull out the metal pan.

"Whoa." Henry laughs. "It actually cooked it!"

Light clapping is heard and Emma looks up, a large, proud grin on her face, to see Regina. "I must say, I'm impressed. Not only did you actually manage to bake something, you also did it in an apparatus that is unlikely to catch fire and burn down the house with our son inside. Congratulations, Miss Swan."

"Thanks, Regina." Emma rolls her eyes, turning the pan over and dumping the tiny chocolate cake out onto a plate.

"And what a large helping you made as well."

Emma cuts the cake in half and gives Henry one half. The other half she cuts in two again, popping one of the pieces in her mouth. "Mock all you want, but it's actually pretty good."

"I'm sure."

"Go ahead." Emma holds out the plate with the other piece of cake. "Taste it."

Regina looks at it for a long time – so long that Emma also mouths off with 'it's not poisoned' – before she finally picks up the piece of cake and places it into her mouth. She chews and swallows with her face set neutrally, but when she turns to look at Emma and Henry, a small smile tugs on her cheeks.

"It's not the worst thing I've eaten."

Emma and Henry share a high five.

* * *

**Sunday, December 22, 2013**

There's a layer of fresh snow on the ground – Regina had been right – when Emma wakes up. She stretches and glances out the window, taking in the wintry view before looking down toward the street to see how much digging she's going to have to do to get the Bug out. And that's when she sees it.

She gasps and can't stop the tears that suddenly rush to her eyes.

"Emma? What's wrong?" Henry's sleepy voice comes to her from the cot that is his bed while he's here at the apartment. Emma hates that he sleeps there – it reminds her too much of the beds she'd had in various homes throughout her childhood – but Henry insists that it's fun and he likes it. To Emma, it's another strong check in the 'get an apartment for yourself' column.

"Nothing." Emma breathes, suddenly turning to grab a hoodie and some boots.

"Where are you going?" Henry calls, scrambling out of bed and running after her.

* * *

Emma races down the apartment steps, nearly tripping over her boots as she stumbles to a stop to take in the sight before her. There, parked on the sidewalk in front of her Bug, fresh and clean without any snow on it, is a beautiful red Schwinn bicycle.

With the combination of the snow and the sunlight, it seems to almost sparkle before her very eyes. Or maybe that's an effect of the tears that she knows are still swimming in her eyes. Either way, it's absolutely beautiful and everything that she ever dreamed of.

She moves toward it slowly, almost afraid that it will disappear at any moment. But it doesn't and when she slides her hands over the seat, it's real and solid beneath them. She lets out a laugh.

"Wow!" Henry scampers over.

"My thoughts exactly."

_I want a bicycle so that I can go where I want, when I want, and no one can stop me. I want a bicycle, because I want freedom. Please, please give me freedom._

* * *

It turns out that there had been a box outside the door that she missed in her rush to get outside. In it, she finds a bicycle helmet, which makes her smile. It's nice to know that someone cares about her safety, as well as her happiness.

She spends the morning playing in the snow with Henry, waiting until all the sidewalks are shoveled and the roads are cleared. Then, she puts on her helmet and she sets off, to break in her new bike.

She rides aimlessly through the town, a large smile etched on her face as she goes, waving at people passing by and laughing when the cold wind stings her face. There it is, she thinks, there's the freedom I wished for. Right there, in the sting of the wind and the smell of the snow.

She finds herself eventually turning and making her way up Mifflin Street, stopping when she sees Regina out, shoveling her sidewalk. Emma supposes she should be glad the woman isn't in high heels and a skirt, but there's still something about watching Regina shovel her sidewalk that makes Emma want to help her. So she parks her bike and climbs off, moving over to the gate.

"Did you finally get rid of that awful eyesore and trade it in on a newer model?" Regina asks as she eyes the bike.

"Sadly for you, no. This is just a new addition."

"Well, at least it looks more appealing than that thing you insist on calling a car. And it will help you to work off all those bear claws you insist on eating as well."

"Hardy har har." Emma rolls her eyes, opening the gate and moving to where Regina is. She reaches out and takes the shovel from Regina's hands.

"What are you doing?" Regina asks as Emma begins shoveling.

Emma looks back over her shoulder. "Working off some bear claws." She snarks.

Regina doesn't say thank you, but she does smile, and Emma thinks that's thanks enough.

* * *

**Monday, December 23, 2013**

Emma wakes to the sound of whimpering. Her eyes fly open and she squints through the darkness of the room, trying to make out Henry. It's been a while since he's had a nightmare and the thought of him having one now, so close to Christmas, makes her heart ache.

But Henry is sleeping peacefully when she catches sight of him, sprawled half on and half off the cot. She frowns. If the sound hadn't come from Henry, where had it come from?

Just then, as though in answer to her unspoken question, the sound comes again and this time she can tell that it's coming from beside her bed. Sitting up, she flicks on the bedside lamp and looks down to see a now familiar sight – a gift with her name in calligraphy on its card. This morning, it's wrapped with paper covered with dogs in Santa hats.

She blinks in surprise, not only at the fact that the gift is here, in her room, but also that the whimpering is apparently coming from it. Carefully, she leans over the bed and lifts the lid off. There's another moment of whimpering before a furry head pops up.

"Oh my god."

The ball of black and brown fur whimpers again and then lets out a small bark, its tail beginning to wag and hit the box as it catches sight of Emma.

"Hi," is all Emma can manage as she carefully lifts the puppy out of the box and brings it to her lap. "Hi there."

The puppy barks in approval and then begins to lick her cheeks in earnest.

"You got a puppy?" Henry gasps sleepily before tumbling off the cot. The puppy barks and bounces in Emma's lap, clearly wanting to play.

Suddenly, the door opens and light from the hallway spills into the room. "What is going on in here?" Snow asks, taking in the scene.

Emma looks almost sheepish as she smiles up at her mother, Henry still on the floor and the puppy still in her lap. "I got my Secret Santa gift today."

* * *

"A dog." Snow says for about the thirtieth time since Emma's ventured downstairs with the puppy.

"Yes, Mom."

"A German Shepherd, to be more precise." David says from his spot on the floor where he's gently tugging on a rag bone that's between the puppy's teeth.

"Emma, we cannot possibly have a dog in this apartment." Snow begins. "It's much too crowded already and –"

Emma blinks rapidly for a moment before giving a decisive nod. "You're right."

"She is?"

"I am?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Well. I'm sure David will be able to find someone to take in the dog."

"No." Emma shakes her head.

"What?"

"I'm not getting rid of Charlie."

"Who's Charlie?" Snow looks completely confused.

"My dog." Emma announces, picking up the puppy who happily licks at her face again. "Charlie B. Barkin."

"But Emma, you just said –"

"I just said that you were right. It is too crowded in this apartment." Emma takes in a large breath. "Which is why I've decided that I should move out."

"What?" The other three occupants of the room all seem to say at once.

"I've been thinking about it for a while now and with getting Charlie, it just seems like the right time."

"You're choosing a dog over your family?" Snow gapes.

"No. I'm choosing to get a place of my own where my son can have his own room and not have to bunk with me." Emma insists. "Besides, I know you and Dad are trying –" She can't seem to say the words, even though she's pretty sure she's made peace with everything, "and if it happens, it'll be even more crowded. It's too much and I want us all to be happy, not hating each other because of having to share a bathroom."

Snow turns away for a moment, while Henry and David both give her encouraging smiles. Charlie wiggles in her arms and as soon as she puts him down, he rushes for the door, scratching at it lightly.

"Hey, look at that!" David exclaims. "I think he's saying he needs to go out."

"I'll take him." Henry offers quickly.

"I'll take him." Emma smiles. "But you can come with us if you put on your hat and coat."

"Awesome!"

"So, Charlie B. Barkin, huh?" David asks as he watches Emma put the walking harness that had been in the smaller accessories box she'd found beside Charlie's box on the puppy. "It didn't take you long to decide on a name."

"Nope." Emma doesn't tell him that she's had the name picked out since she was seven years old.

_I'd really like a dog like the one in All Dogs Go To Heaven. Maybe if I had one, he'd help me find my family too._

* * *

They're making their way down Main Street with Charlie bopping along quite happily beside them, when suddenly Emma feels a tug on the leash. She looks down to see that Charlie has taken off running, the stretchable leash pulling out before she can press down the button to stop it.

"Charlie!" She scolds as she watches him jump up and down, barking happily at Regina. It's like he knows her or something. What is it with dogs and Regina?

She waits for the scolding of the puppy to come, but it doesn't. Instead, Regina kneels down and begins petting Charlie. The puppy quickly lays down and rolls over, exposing his tummy to her. Smart dog, Emma thinks.

"Well, aren't you just adorable?" Regina asks, using a voice that Emma's never heard before.

"His name's Charlie!" Henry tells her excitedly as he runs to her side.

Regina looks up at Emma, an eyebrow raised. "Did you buy our son a dog without speaking to me about it, Miss Swan?"

"No." Henry assures before Emma can. "Emma's Secret Santa gave him to her!"

"Well. That's a step up from a Game Boy." Regina laughs, turning her attention back to the dog. "Aren't you, Charlie? Aren't you so much better than a Game Boy?"

Charlie yelps in happiness. Her dog's a goner. He's totally fallen for Regina.

"He's my favorite present so far." Henry agrees. "And he's a German Shepherd, so Emma can train him to be a police dog!"

"Is that so?"

"I hadn't thought about it, actually." Emma admits. "But it's not a bad idea."

"You understand the amount of training a police dog needs? The time and energy spent on the part of the handling officer? Not to mention the cost of a safety vest for him."

Emma scoffs. "You don't even have a safety vest for me."

Regina looks up at her and smirks. "Priorities, Emma. Priorities."

Emma laughs then, at the unexpected humor, and Regina does too, the sound so pure and beautiful that Emma feels like she's gotten a tummy rub of her own.

* * *

**Tuesday, December 24, 2013**

Emma wakes up to the feel of a wet nose nuzzling her neck, followed quickly by a tongue licking her face. "Charlie," she groans, but it comes out in a happy tone.

The puppy had started the night on Henry's cot, but rather quickly relocated to Emma's bed when he realized there was more room there. Emma knows she shouldn't let him sleep with her, but she also knows that she'll never deny him that either. It's too nice for her to finally have a puppy to cuddle.

"Okay, buddy. Let's go outside." She says, sitting up and scanning the room for a present. There isn't one anywhere in the bedroom, so she picks Charlie up and heads downstairs.

But there's no present there either. Not in the kitchen or the living room. And not outside in the hallway when she opens the door to take Charlie out. Not even by her car or her new, safely locked up – you can never be too safe – bicycle.

So she decides that Charlie should have a walk and makes her way to the station, hoping to find her gift on her desk as it had been for those first few days. But the station is dark and her desk is empty. The whole place feels rather forlorn because she never did put up any Christmas decorations.

Emma and Charlie change course and head to Granny's. Perhaps Santa had chosen Ruby as delivery girl again.

But besides fawning over Charlie, Ruby has nothing to offer her. And when she knocks on Tink's door at the B&B, she only gets an eyeful of Hook in mistletoe covered boxers – a sight she never, ever needs to see again.

Emma wracks her brain for other places or people that her Secret Santa may have left her present – she swings by the playground and drops in on Archie – but still comes up empty handed.

An hour later, she finally makes it back to the apartment. Snow, David, and Henry are waiting for her, with David and Henry wearing matching expectant looks. She just shakes her head and goes back upstairs where she and Charlie collapse on the bed together and fall back asleep.

* * *

She finally drags herself out of bed and forces herself to participate in the Christmas Eve Day activities that Snow has planned. And if she finds excuses to open the front door and check the hallway every hour on the hour, so what? But each time, she comes up empty handed.

And so finally, as she dresses for the annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony that Storybrooke holds on Christmas Eve, she gives up her hope of getting another present. She shouldn't be this upset she knows – what could top a puppy, really? – but it feels almost like she's been abandoned all over again. She may not have known who her Secret Santa was, but she felt a connection to them. A connection that's now been severed.

"Emma, you ready to go?"

"Coming!" Emma calls, forcing a smile on her face as she descends the stairs.

* * *

It's a beautiful ceremony, all in all, and pretty much everyone heads to Granny's afterwards to continue the celebration. Even Regina comes by for a while and sits with Emma, although Emma's pretty sure that it's mostly so that she can play with Charlie. Still, it's nice to see her out and about, especially when she looks so beautiful in her burgundy Christmas dress.

Then Henry starts to get sleepy and Emma offers him a hug and kiss goodnight before turning him over to Regina. He looks almost reluctant to leave her, but she smiles and reassures him that she'll be fine and will see him later the next day.

As he and Regina leave, she hears him explain that she's depressed because her Secret Santa hadn't given her a gift today. She shakes her head at how utterly ridiculous that is and decides that she just needs to go home and sleep this all off.

Tomorrow is Christmas. She needs to be cheerful. So she wishes everyone a good night and she and Charlie head off to the apartment together. Emma's glad she's got him, otherwise she'd feel incredibly lonely about now.

* * *

She isn't expecting it, has totally given up on it, in fact, so to see the present lying on her bed when she enters her bedroom is a shock. She stops in her tracks and just stares at it for a long time.

It's a simple white box, wrapped with a red bow. There is no tag this time, but it's obviously for her. Emma feels her heart speed up with the thought of what could be inside. Slowly, she moves to the bed, sitting down gently and reaching out to touch the box.

She goes back through her mind, trying to pinpoint what other thing she'd wished for as a child that her Secret Santa could've gotten her, but comes up empty. There had been other frivolous – and not so frivolous – wishes, but nothing that stands out. And so finally, with no other ideas or options but to open the gift and find out what is inside, Emma pulls off the ribbon and lifts the lid of the box.

A sob rips from her throat as she takes in the contents of the box, followed immediately by another and another. Tears stream down her cheeks and she can't stop them, can't control them, can only allow them to flow.

Because there in the box is her impossible dream. The wish that she'd never even had the courage to write down because it seemed too impossible even then. It was too beautiful, too perfect for a child like her, a child that felt in no way beautiful or perfect. And yet… here it is. A gorgeous porcelain doll that looks so much like her.

She reaches out a trembling hand and carefully lifts the doll from the box, cradling her as though she were a baby. She takes in the beautiful golden curls – the thing that had drawn her attention to the doll in the store window all those years and cities ago – and the beautifully painted eyes. She runs her hands over the gorgeous green dress that clothes the doll and she lets out another small sob as she takes in the golden crown atop the doll's head.

There's a small tag attached around the doll's wrist and when she lifts it, she gasps in another sharp breath. For there on the tag, it proclaims the doll's name to be 'Princess Emma'.

Emma holds the doll close and cries for a long time, until finally Charlie begins to nudge and paw at her in worry. Only then does she pull herself together and move to place the doll back in the box. And only then does she it, lying in the bottom of the box.

A white card, just like all the others, only this time, instead of her name in calligraphy a message is written. It's short and sweet, "Merry Christmas, Emma," but it makes her heart beat faster.

She reaches in and pulls it out and that's when it hits her. This message is hand written. In writing that she knows. With another gasp, she grabs hold of the card and scoops up Charlie, heading quickly out of the apartment.

As she makes it to the street, the minute hand on the clock in the clock tower shifts over, proclaiming it to be midnight.

* * *

**Wednesday, December 25, 2013**

"It was you." There are tears in Emma's eyes when Regina opens the door to her frantic knocking.

"Emma?" Regina looks from her to Charlie at her feet and back up again. "It's after midnight. What are you –"

"It's you. You're my Secret Santa." She holds up the card, the one written in Regina's own hand, the one she hasn't been able to let go of. "Don't deny it." She whispers, practically pleading with Regina.

"Yes." Regina says simply.

The tears slip from Emma's eyes. "I wanted it to be you."

Regina smiles at that.

"But you were always mocking everything and I thought -"

"Well, I had to check that you were liking the gifts without giving myself away." Regina tells her.

"Liking them? Regina, I loved all of them. But you knew that I would, didn't you? I don't know how, but you knew that I wanted all of these things as a little girl. How did you know? I mean, I never told anyone about some of these things. Well, except for…" Emma's eyes go wide as the thought strikes her again, the same one she'd had days before. "Oh god! Tell me you aren't Santa Claus."

"No. Definitely not." Regina laughs.

"Good. Good. Because I don't think I could be down with elves."

"I, unlike your mother, don't cavort with little people." Regina can't resist the snark.

"How, then?" Emma presses. "How did you know?"

Regina looks down then, averting her gaze. "I believe you know the spell. You used it yourself once."

"You watched my memories?" Emma wants to feel angry – she has every right to, after all it's a huge overstep of her boundaries – but she can't seem muster that emotion. Maybe because of the reminder Regina gave that she's done the same or, more likely, because of the utter joy the gifts have given her.

"I only focused on your Christmas wishes, nothing else." Regina offers in defense. "And nothing went beyond the age of nine, as you well know."

"Yeah." Emma sighs, thinking of how she stopped believing and wishing and dreaming then.

"I only wanted to give you the things you'd wished for and never gotten. After all, you gave me the greatest gift I've ever received."

Emma smiles at that. Henry was the greatest gift that either of them have ever gotten. And for Regina to want to do something for her like this? It made Emma feel like a swarm of butterflies had been released in her stomach. "You did a pretty good job of it."

"Only pretty good?" Regina looks offended.

"Well, there was one thing that I wished for every year – even after I stopped believing – that you didn't give me."

"You wished, always, for a family. But you've found your parents and Henry now..."

"Regina." Emma says, giving her a look that cannot be misinterpreted.

"Ah," Regina nods then. It's all the reassurance she needs. "But you forget, Emma, that you haven't gotten your final present yet."

Emma's eyes light up. "As you yourself reminded me a moment ago, it's after midnight. So..."

"So," Regina steps closer, finally reaching out and touching Emma's arms. "Stay tonight. Wake up and celebrate with Henry and me in the morning. Go from there."

"I'd like to go from somewhere else." Emma says, stepping closer and reaching up to cup Regina's cheek.

"Oh?" Regina murmurs.

"Yeah." Emma leans forward and presses her lips to Regina's. Regina responds, bringing her hands to tangle in Emma's hair.

Emma smiles against Regina's lips when she pulls away. "That was what I wished for this year, by the way."

"Me too." Regina whispers just before kissing Emma again.

They quickly lose themselves in each other until there's a sudden bark from somewhere by Emma's feet that makes them pull away. Emma laughs as she looks down at Charlie. "Did you get jealous?" She asks.

Regina leans down and scratches behind Charlie's ears. "Don't worry, Charlie. We love you too." She assures, not realizing exactly what she's said until she's already said it.

When she finally straightens back up and looks at Emma, she's beaming. "We sure do." She grins, but doesn't push any farther. Instead, she looks up at Regina innocently. "So, you said something about me staying?"

Regina nods then, reaching out a hand. "Come on, both of you, since I hear from my son that Charlie sleeps in bed with you."

Emma follows her until they reach Regina's bedroom door. Then she stops for a moment. "I never actually thanked you, did I? I mean, god, Regina, what you gave me... There are no words. I know everyone else just thinks they were silly little gifts but… I know what they were. I know what they meant. And I hope you do, too."

"I do. And you're welcome." Regina says simply. "Now come to bed."

Emma follows, kicking off her sneakers as she goes. They climb into bed together, settling Charlie between them. He burrows happily into the sheets, enjoying the warmth they give off.

Emma enjoys the warmth and feeling of comfort and safety too. Sleep easily begins to overtake her. Just before she surrenders, she hears a whisper in the darkness. "Merry Christmas, Emma."

"Merry Christmas, my Secret Santa," she replies.


End file.
